


Not Letting Go

by fictorium



Category: Lost
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-18
Updated: 2011-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-14 21:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/153797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictorium/pseuds/fictorium





	Not Letting Go

  
The thing about the greater good, the thing that really _blows_ , as Juliet knows all too well, is that it generally means screwing yourself over for everyone else's benefit. So if she's halfway to falling already, why not finish the job, right? She can save the rest of them, be the hero for a change instead of the enemy. There's no home to go back to anymore, not by thirty years or so.  
 

  


  


But there's James.

James is here and his skin is so warm where he grips her arm. She doesn't even mind that it's starting to hurt (because, more urgently, her head is ringing like someone is pulling church bells, and there's a sharp pain in her abdomen that she's really trying not to worry about).

The decision is clear: save herself or save them all. It always looks so easy in the movies, to sacrifice yourself. Juliet doesn't waste a lot of time on hypotheticals-- reality is keeping her a little too busy since she drank that spiked orange juice-- but she likes to think that she knows herself enough to know how she'll react under duress. God knows, she's had plenty of practice.

And James, oh James. He's pleading, like he really doesn't want to live without her. That's the most amazing part of this whole insane adventure, that he could be so strong, and solid, and _real_ , letting her fall asleep pressed against his back every night. Love, which she didn't believe in, was supposed to pass Juliet Burke by completely; she always had her work, and Rachel. She had a list of excuses and a gift for not getting involved, then the whole world changed and it's possible that she did a little, too.

It's just that he's trying so hard not to let her fall. There's panic in his eyes, like he knows all too well that all Juliet has to do is let go and they're over; he'll have lost her. There was a time, in their past that's somehow the future, when Juliet would have crushed his spirit without a second thought. He was just one of a group of strangers, another threat to her survival and chances of going home; how could she have known what he'd turn out to be, with his smiling eyes and sand-colored uniforms?

His eyes make the decision for her, in the end. Despite the searing pain and definite 'pop' from her already protesting shoulder, Juliet swings her other arm up to grab on to James. The gesture is enough to scare the fear from his face, and that determination she's come to love replaces it in an instant.

He'll save her, like he's been saving her every day for years now. Though she knows he'll say it's only ever been the other way round. Maybe, when she gets out of here, she'll finally make him believe he's a better man than he thinks he is.

Juliet bites her lip to keep from crying out, and as James begins to pull her slowly back to safety, she scrabbles with her sneakers against the wall of the shaft, getting just enough purchase to help with the painful ascent.

Kate is there moments later, and Juliet's too close to crying to have any particular feelings about that. They might be friends, or she might be the biggest threat to the only happiness Juliet has left, but right now she's another pair of (surprisingly) strong arms, and it makes the last few inches more bearable when Juliet is better supported.  
 

  
Collapsing on the ground, Juliet finally lets the cry escape, muffling the sound as best she can. Right away, James is beside her, lying on the ground with that reassuring smile of his, the one that says they can lie there all day if she needs it. Juliet knows she needs Jack, needs him to tend to these injuries before pulling her up becomes a fruitless gesture, but she can't bring herself to say his name.

"Hey, Blondie."

"Hey," she croaks in response, as though all of the dust has lodged in her throat.

Thirsty, that's another pressing concern, but it's mostly the adrenalin wearing off. Juliet can triage herself quite efficiently, and right now there's no higher priority than a moment with the man she can't quite seem to do without.

"Next time you want to try some extreme sports, how's about you try some surfin' or somethin', okay?"

She smiles as best she can, her lips trembling as she fights back the pain and nausea, because those will pass while her happiness seems to endure.

"Thank you."

It's not enough, not even close to enough, but Juliet doesn't know where else to begin. There's a thousand things she'll never thank him for properly, because she's just not good at this stuff, and honestly James is no better. They'll stay where it's easier, where they're not racking up debts to one another.

They'll stay together, maybe even more than they were before. Sometimes, if you love something, you just don't let it go.

  



End file.
